_You Suck_ by Christopher Moore

If you don’t want to read Christopher Moore after this, there is absolutely, positively no hope at all for you in the entire universe. Get out. Go on. Get going. You’ve got a long trip ahead of you before you find some sort of satisfaction.

I am almost not kidding about that. I picked this quote because the description of a goth girl making breakfast makes me think fondly of my ever-suffering husband.

“So, like first thing, I made some toast, and it burned, as black as my soul, and I was so bummed that my tears of despair fell like cold bits of crystal, to be destroyed on the unforgiving rocks of this miserable life.”

From Christopher Moore’s You Suck: A Love Story. Page 119.