"I Like them Fluffy" by A.P. Herbert

A young man once told me this was his favourite poem. I should have seen the writing on the wall…

Some like them gentle and sweet,
Some like them haughty and proud,
Some of us like them petite,
And some of us love the whole crowd;
Some will insist upon grace,
And some make a point of the pelf,
But, to take a particular case,
I do like them fluffy myself:

I like them fluffy, I freely confess,
With fluffy blue eyes and a fluffy blue dress,
With fair fluffy hair, like Love-in-a-mist,
And lips that declare “ I want to be kissed”;
With fluffy soft cheeks, like plums on a wall,
With a fluffy soft heart – and no brains at all.

Some like a girl that’s well-read,
Some like a shingle or crop,
But I don’t care what’s in her head,
If there’s plenty of hair on the top.
Give me the frivolous locks,
Give me the Gaiety Queen,
Give me the Chocolate Box,
And give me the Girls’ Magazine!

I like them fluffy – I know it’s bad taste –
With fluffy soft looks and a flower at the waist,
With golden hair flying, like mist round the moon;
And lips that seem sighing, “You must kiss me soon,”
Not huffy, or stuffy, not tiny or tall,
But fluffy, just fluffy, with no brains at all.

Brains are all right in their place,
But Oh, it’s a shock to the heart
If the lady postpones an embrace
To enquire your opinions on Art!
And to-day, as I paused on the brink,
I own I was slightly annoyed
When she sighed and said, “What do you think
Of the basic assumptions of Freud?”

”I like them fluffy,” I gently replied,
“Not huffy, or stuffy, or puffy with pride,
With downy soft eyebrows and artful blue eyes,
The kind that the highbrows pretend to despise,
With fluffy complexions, like plums on a wall,
And fluffy opinions, and no brains at all.”